Do NOT Waste A Good Trial
Author: Pastor Kalen Brown
I have never been as emotionally charged, mentally exhausted and as blatant in my desire to quit ministry as during the trial the Lord put me through beginning in the last half of 2020.
I think a combination of things took place that the Lord used uniquely in this particular season of my life. The upheaval of a pandemic and the unrest it created in the world and in the church. The challenge of how to respond to cultures reaction to injustice and what should be the church’s response to this. A few inter-personal conflicts that weighed heavy on my heart. I also believe that the enemy took advantage of these issues and took some pot shots. Finally, the Lord is the master of how to test the heart and the conformer of my character.
Have you every had to endure a circumstance in your life that you just plain did not want to go through? Perhaps it was a misunderstanding, or an unfair situation, or an accusation that wasn’t true and you just wanted to prove yourself right? Everything in your inner-being screamed “LET ME OUT OF THIS!”
You know the feelings: sleepless nights, unwarranted guilty feelings, insecurities that lead to feelings of unworthiness, nervousness to have the conversation, continuous frustration and feeling unloved, misunderstood and disrespected in the process. In addition, the importance of gaining understanding biblically and holistically. Coming to conclusions to the best of my ability not even fully sure what should be done, or the proper response, knowing that it may not sit well with some!
Trials and testing in our life are inevitable. I understand this reality both from personal experience and my theological understanding. I have been through many testings in my 39 years of serving the Lord and have grown in my appreciation of the purpose of these shaping times.
However, during this time, I did not want to go though any more pressure! I was at the end of myself and I felt alone. It was at this place I knew I needed to start putting the right things and the right steps in place to make sure I was setting myself up for success. I needed the right spiritual insight and not my own understanding and strength. I knew I needed time alone in prayer with Jesus. So I got away for three days just me and Him!
I complained to the Lord, I repented to the Lord for bad attitudes and lack of faith. I confessed that I had my eyes on the things of man and not of things of God. I told Him I wanted to quit! I worshiped, spent time in His word and eventually came to a place of yielding to Him.
Following that encounter, my wife and I went to a small pastors gathering in Idaho. It is here that the Lord brought some prayer and prophetic ministry to our lives. Brothers and sisters in Christ that brought encouragement and specific words from God that we are still seeing unfold today!
The Lord specifically broke loose some things in my life as we came together during a church wide fasting, prayer and repentance night in November. Warfare happens in the heavens, deliverance in the church and refreshing in my life during times of worship and prayer.
I continue to pursue times with Jesus, accountability with brothers, and faithfulness to press heaven. One revelation I received is HOPE. I began to see beyond what appears to be negative consequence of testing. I intentionally raise my eyes above the weeds of discontent and selfish complaint and see that God always does something great after difficult times in my life! It was at that moment of revelation, that I said to the Lord and my soul; “I do not want to waste a good trial because I know that something wonderful was waiting for me at the end of it!”
This idea (I do not want to waste a good trial) has sparked hope and a desire to go through whatever trial the Lord may have for me. I know that the testing of my faith not only brings about completeness to my own life, but I believe it is a precursor for revival in others, the church, and to the world!
